U! S! A! ... B! R! O! ... U! S! A! ... B! R! O!

Now...MOST bros...they love the olympics. Now, I say 'most' and not 'all' bros because for whatever reason, not every bro gets that into them. In a way I understand that, and in a way I don't. See...I feel like the bros who don't watch the olympics probably never watched them, so they don't really have that same awe for them as those bros among us who grew up watching them have. And, surely there are many bros who'd rather just be out bar-hopping, boozing, dilligafing the world and so on. Obviously...I applaud that. What's hard for me to understand is how any bro could fail to recognize how just...fucking purely BRO so much about the olympics really is. Take the US beating, (crushing) Canada the other night in hockey for example. Now...I witnessed that game from a couch while sucking on a bottle of whiskey like it was the last titty I'd ever get to touch. And let me tell you...those dudes were broing their fucking faces off...

- Now...to me that looks like a bunch of bros celebrating a new keg stand record...or the fact that one of them just went balls deep in somebody's sister. That picture reminds me of a bunch of bros back from an especially impressive performance at the local bar. It's the most classic of bro moments, the kind of moments when bros have a rare look at themselves, and just how badass it is to be a bro. Now, I doubt I need to say this, but I am of course, not talking about women's hockey...I'm talking about U.S. Bros Hockey. I'm not going to talk about the score, because you should already know...and even if you don't, all you really need to be aware of is that we won. I'm not a sports journalist...I write about bros - so I'm not going to talk about the game in particular...it's just an example of how BRO the olympics can really be.

Another bro star from these olympics? Obviously...Bode Miller. Now, Bode Miller is a notorious bro. At the last winter olympics...he didn't win any medals, but when asked how he felt about the olympics he replied, "It's been good. It's really cool to party at an olympic level." Wow, Bode...baller. This time around, I guess he decided to win some medals too, and he's been kicking ass the whole time - and yes, bros, I'm sure he's still boozing hard.

Now...you may be wondering what's so BRO about the olympics besides just these two amazing examples. A ludicrous question, but a question nonetheless. Of course, I couldn't list off every thing that I find brocinating about the olympics, but it's not about anecdotal evidence, it's really just about the olympics themselves. If there's one thing bros do...it's play to win. Bro Hard Or Bro Home, remember? Now, people like to spout off about sportmanship and stuff like that...and well...while that's all well and good, we all know that what the olympics is really about is a bro (most likely from the United States) getting a chance to stand up on a podium with a medal around his neck and look out at everyone who lost and say, "I'm better than you, bro, and I know it." Not to mention the fact that the national anthem is...as Vic put it so eloquently to me in a text message recently:

Vic: "National Anthem: Frattiest song ever...period."

So bros...go get yourself a thrity rack...or a bottle of booze, and sit back and drunkenly take these olympics in while they're still on. And if you hear some non-bro asshole at work talking about how he couldn't watch because there was an episode of 'Grey's' or 'Desperate Housewives' on...take a sip of that spiked coffee, and revel in your brodom.