Bros Setting Themselves Apart #1

Alright, fuckheads. I've been posting on BHOBH for about 2 weeks now, and I still don't have a calling-card recurring topic. So I've decided that I will start doing that, right here, right now.

And the irony of my first entry into this ongoing series of posts is... that I myself am engaging in exactly what this topic discusses.

But before I get into the semantics of today's activity, I want to explain the purpose behind these posts.

Non-bros actually do a lot of the things that us bros do. I know, I am as shocked as you are at hearing these words. Unfortunately, they DO hang out at bars. They DO watch bro sports like football. They DO occasionally have sex with females (and each other, zingaahhh). But you know why us bros are better than them? Because we do all of those things; we do them better; and we do things that their puny non-bro brains can't even fathom.

And the first such activity that I'd like to discuss is: Sunday Drinking.

Now, listen bros. I just want to get this out of the way early on. It took me many years to realize the merits of Sunday Drinking. Even when I was in college, I used to use Sundays to recover from the weekend and to prepare for my classes. Little did I know back then that Sundays were actually the most underrated day for getting smashed.

I now have a job and I am proud to say that I always show up to work on Mondays looking and smelling like a homeless guy who got owned by some other bro (smashing me over the head with a bottle of Evan W). Now, it's hard to explain exactly why Sunday boozing is so goddamn appealing. But here's my theory:

Everybody hates Mondays. Everybody hates Mondays-Thursdays, in fact. But because Mondays are the most hated day of the week, I feel like everyone understands if you want to get some liquid courage before ass-fucking the work week. In addition, we are quick to forget that Sundays are part of the weekend too. Meaning we should use the day to do whatever the fuck we feel like doing. And you know what you feel like doing (if you're a bro)? Binge drinking.

Now, why does Sunday Drinking set us bros apart from the spineless newts, aka non-bros? Because those pussies are simply too afraid to engage in it. They want to get an "A" in class participation on Monday. They want to put together a nice inventory report for their boss on Monday. They legitimately think that showing up to work or school sober will get them ahead in life. Us bros know the opposite to be true. We know that, by chugging frat sodas, watching Predator for the 6 millionth time, and rooting on US Olympians we've never heard of, we are actually the ones getting ahead. Because in the end, that's really all that counts. In essence, it is the perfect embodiment of the DILLIGAF life style. And, if you are confused by this foreign term "DILLIGAF", allow the below video to enlighten you. So enjoy that, and crack open your 13th Miller Lite. There's Sunday Drinking to do: