=
???????
This one's mostly for the Eastcoast bros - but all other bros should feel free to contemplate on it as well.
Now with the mountains of snow everywhere, the roofs that have collapsed under all the weight, all the car accidents, the billions of dollars being spent to clean it all up, the high school kids and the college kids all out of school, the ENTIRE federal government of the United States shut down and the above-ground metro rail in DC shut down for the foreseeable future, there's really only one question I can ask myself: "Is This Snowstorm Fratty?"
Now, we all already know, (Thanks to Vic - who you can all be sure is taking booze to the dome as I write this, and even as you read) getting snowed in provides the perfect opportunity to stock up for a weeks worth of binge drinking only to guzzle it all down in a couple days. We also understand that if you were somehow with a grouping of solid broheems before, during and after the storm - you got the rare chance to experience cabin fever in a way that's almost impossible outside of college: Brobin Fever...as I just coined the term. Snowed in and with a lot of booze, obviously...bros can turn any place, whether it be an upscale apartment, or a one-bedroom shanty, into a shitshow....as Vic and I found out this past weekend. Which involved broken chairs, piss in inappropriate places, clogged toilets, destroyed bathrooms, seas of empties Michael Phelps couldn't even butter-fly his way through, a damaged freindship here or there, and of course, a decent amount of blood.
So...Is the snow storm Fratty?
So far...I think we'd all have to say, Fuck yeah.
The next thing I'd like to bring up, is THIS. Obviously...setting records in a way that affects a great number of people is something bros have been doing for as long as time as been recorded.
So....Is the snow storm Fratty?
It's starting to look like there's not a question about it, I must say.
I won't talk about this next thing much since Vic flushed out the topic so expertly earlier, but obviously a hugely fratty component of the snowstorm is that it's getting all the bros in DC and Baltimore, (two of the most bro-tastic cities) off work. Fratty? Check.
The last important component of the storm I'd like to extoll is this: THIS STORM IS BREAKING SHIT LEFT AND RIGHT. You know the feeling you get when you're just shy of blacked out, and your bro goes into a fit of rage over something he misinterpreted...or is most likely just drunk, and he starts knocking pictures off the wall, or he smashes someone through some furniture, or if you're lucky enough to be on the sidewalk, starts knocking over newspaper bins? You know that feeling? It's a great feeling isn't it? Personally, I love that feeling. Because when I see one of my bros going over the top and breaking and/or vandalizing something, I know he just unwittingly turned the binge into something more than just the average blurry brown/black out. So when I think about how good it makes me feel when one of my bros breaks something that only affects a couple auxiliary people here and there...I just can't imagine what the rest of the weather gods are saying when they see their bro, snow, just shitting over all of us here on the East coast. I'm not sure what languages those bros speak in, but I can guaran-fucking-tee they're laughing their asses off every time a car slips off the road or a roof caves in...and most likely saying DILLIGAF.
Basically this snow storm can be equated to a bro-prank of epic proportions. So if you feel bummed out over the next couple days when you're shelling out twenties to day-laborers you picked up at the 7-11 to shovel your driveways, just understand you're a victim of the broverse, and don't forget all the great things the snow storm has done for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment