Coming at you from an unidentified locale...Coming at you hard, and little boozey. Got a bottle of Jack that's currently getting to my face. (See, I'm a little classier than Vic's Evan W. SMARMED!) I was just drinking and reminiscing, and I started to remember those Geico commericals that had like some travesty happening, and then the dude is like, "But I DID just save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to geico." I loved those commericals. Bros loved those commericals...they provied so many bros so many good jokes:
"Bro, you remember that old lady with big tits you introduced me to?"
"You mean...my mom?"
"That was your mom?"
"Yeah, dude..."
"Oh, well, I've got some bad news."
"What?"
"Nailed her...and I was balls deep...and I was raw-dogging it...and I dumped in her belly."
"WHAT!! WHY?? OH, NO! BRO!"
"But I do have some good news..."
"What?" Bro's crying.
"I did just save a bunch of money by switching to geico."
HA. Classic.
Well...Vic and I have a pretty big weekend ahead of us. I'm not sure if he'll get a chance to post before hand - I know this will be my last one until at least monday. Hopefully Vic will get on here and give you all some of his saucy wisdom before hand. But as for me...Bronest Hemingway will not be back around until a few days from now, at which time I'm SURE Vic and I will have lots of stories to share with you guys. Now, as all you bros know...you never can be entirely sure what'll transpire during a weekend packed with booze, bros and belligerence, but I DO have at least one or two things i cna promise you:
1) Every single thing will invovle booze
2) At LEAST one story will involve blood
3) At LEAST one story will involve offending innocent civilians
4) At LEAST one story will involve a physcial altercation with a non-bro pussy
5) At LEAST one story will involve a few chicks, and how we either hooked up with them, and THEN offended them deeply, or offended them deeply and THEN hooked up with them...or just offended them deeply for no fucking reason at all.
The weekend swiftly approaches my bros. Get up, get ready, get BOOZEY, get your motherfucking BRO on, and don't forget that if you're ever feeling too boozey, too hung over, or too tired...that you are BROS...and so you ride on. That's all I have to say...RIDE ON, bros. See you next week.
- BrrrrrrrrrOnest Hemingway.
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