An Addition...BROS.

- DILLIGAF

hey.......BROS!!!!

Bronest here - and I've been doing like Bronest does...boozing and contemplating the 'BRO.'

Now...this post is an addition to the 'Bros Don't' list - but this one is so epic that there's going to be an entire post dedicated to it. Are you ready, bros?? Are you??

Drumroll......

.....roll a little longer because you're a bro....

....roll a little longer because you're boozey.....

BROS DO NOT WHINE.

I want you to ask yourself...bros...is there a 'bro' in your crew of broheems who always seems a little more sensitive then the rest? Is there a bro in your group of friends who just doesn't seem as comfortable with the way the rest of you comport yourselves? Is there a bro amongst you whom you almost feel nervous around...because you never quite know if you're going to offend him or not?

Unfortunately...this is an issue for many bros across the country and the world. A lot of bros seem to feel like every joke, every action, every DILLIGAF would just go much more smoothly if one particular bro wasn't so sensitive...if maybe he wasn't so prone to lashing out because he feels hurt by something. For the lucky bros who have no clue what I'm talking about...let me tell you...this is tragic. FUCKING...TRAGIC. This scenario is tragic like Katrinia, or 9-11...it's devastating like an indo-asian tsunami...it's crushing like a hatian earthquake. Need I go further? Bros...this is rough.

Now, I feel your pain, bros. Basically, if you're finding yourself in this scenario...the first thing I would do would be to question the validity of your man's bro-card. But is that all there is to it? I'm not so sure, bros. See...some bros...they love the idea of being a bro...they love the idea of dilligafing the world at large, and they love the idea of just dominating every civilian with their brodom. The problem with some 'bros' ? ...They're not necessarily ready to pay the price for such a prestigious standing in society. See...because a bro...he's got to be ready to fuck with all of his bros...and all of his bros are going to fuck with him non-stop. Is this because we don't like our fellow bros?? BULLSHIT. We LOVE our fellow bros...which is why we fuck with them...because we know...(I wonder how many times I'll reiterate this point throughout this blog)...that BROS are the one's who run the world. Pussies can't do it. And so it falls on bros to change the human universe. And so we fuck with our bros, just to prep them for the struggles to come. Here's an example of a text conversation I just had with a bro-hero of epic proportions :

ME: "Well, catch the fuck up you bone smuggling, ass eating, cock gobbler!"

BRO: "Now...that's just offensive."

ME: "Yeah, well...tell it to your priest while he fucks your ruby star fruit."

BRO: "Actually, bro...my priest is the catcher."

Just...I mean, I'd analyze that for you...if this weren't a blog for bros. So there's no need for me to explain the fact that this is classic bro-banter.

The point!!!????? BROS...they can handle mad offensive...sick shit like that. A non-bro?? He would've told me how uncool it was to rip on his religion...he would have told me how amoral it was to make a joke about pedophilia. But a bro understands that the world has no such morals, and in order to dominate it, you must be able to rock back and bust nuts just as fat. So...for all the bros out there who have an overly-sensitive bro in your group of friends...ask him to verify his broitude...either by boozing in public outside a church on a Sunday afternoon...or just rip on him over and over until he either cries, renounces his brohood...or comes back at you and tells you all the ways he'd love to rape and murder your mother. In the first scenario...you weed out a posing bro. In the second...you bring a bro through broberty and into adulthood.

So good job, bros.