Throwing Curveballs #1- The Joker is a BRO

Well, bros, it appears that your boi is just filled to the brim with bullshit this week, as the lying continues. As I mentioned yesterday, my intention was to write about why skiing is mega-bro. However, as I lay in bed last night, dreaming about beating up nerds, throwing empty whiskey bottles against walls, and smashing rare art over my knee, divine inspiration came to me. Yes. Me. Vic Mackey. Once that happened, I knew the skiing post would have to wait for another day.

I legitimately don’t know how the idea for this post came to me. I’m not a big superhero guy. Not into comics. I think Superman likes smoking pole and tossing dude-salad. But, for some reason, last night Batman and his arch nemesis, the Joker, popped into my head. Now, out of all the “superheroes”, Batman is probably the most bro; but that’s like winning a game of darts against a bunch of blind guys. Superheroes are straight up weenies. Batman doesn’t have any powers, so he just kicks people’s asses by outsmarting them. He operates at night. He’s rich as fuck. Those are all pretty bro characteristics. But when you compare him to his nemesis, the Joker, he looks like Chumpzilla. Before I tell you why, let me just list off some things that Bros really love:

Blacking out
Destroying shit
Swearing
Stealing
Lying
Cheating
Vandalizing
Gambling
Creeping
Offending People/Pissing People Off
Being sarcastic and cracking inappropriate jokes
Banging chicks

I think you know where I’m going with this, but you might not know exactly how I’m getting there. Clearly, all of those things would appeal to a sociopath such as The Joker. Does that mean us bros are sociopaths? Well, yes, some of us are. But on the whole, not really.

Really, what all of those activities have in common is that they are all geared towards achieving one thing, and the picture below will tell you what that one thing is:



Yes, now you see. The Joker, much like a true bro of this world, is an agent of chaos. When you watch “The Dark Knight”, you can’t help but notice that The Joker really doesn’t give a fuck about the money, or the power, or the fame. He doesn’t care about getting caught, or that people think he’s a fucking weirdo. All he cares about is fucking shit up, wreaking havoc wherever he can, and letting the haters of the world deal with his mess. It’s all about the chaos.

Similarly, while us bros DO enjoy drinking and DO enjoy offending people, the main goal is to make sure people fucking remember us long after we leave. That people are left to clean up the shattered pieces of whatever locale we have recently obliterated. Sure, chanting about abortion in the middle of a respectable restaurant is fun and hilarious; but the real allure to actions such as that is that every bro involved knows that, long after he has left, people will be talking about him. Whether they speak good or bad about the bro is irrelevant; in fact, I bet you that a bro would rather people talk shit on him long after he has left… because that means that they are fucking jealous of how much of a bro he is.

And you know why else The Joker is a bro? It’s because he is diametrically opposed to everything Batman stands for. And Batman stands for some pretty lame shit. Like order, and peace. The Joker probably isn’t even that bad a guy; however, he sees how much he can piss off a tight-ass like Batman, so he does everything in his power to make the winged fruitcake mad. And that is fucking funny.

So as I am apt to do, my brethren, I will leave you with some advice. This weekend, while you are out slamming beers and smashing out some fresh vaj, channel your inner Joker. Be an Agent of Chaos. Be a fucking Bro.

Have a good weekend.