These sacks of shit are stealing our stuff!!!
Yes, what you see there is a grouping of hipster trash. The worst kind of non-bro (in my opinion, which is actually fact). Scrawny, pale, unclean, terrible fashion sense. Those are the calling cards of the hipster. You would think that shitty hipster trash would stick to what they know best: blowing each other, shitty music, and pensive glares into the distance. But NO. These assholes are trying to move in on our territory, and I am PISSED. Why? Because one of my favorite alcoholic beverages of all time (seen below) is now being associated with fucking hipsters. And that makes me SICK to my stomach. The beer in question?
That's right. One of the biggest bros of all time, Jesus Christ himself, loves Pabst Blue Ribbon. And now, scumbags like Pete Wentz are trying to glomb off of JC's steez. I don't really want to make this post very long, because the rage that builds with each word I type is immense; however, I must implore all of you bros of the world to do as any self-respecting bro would do should they see a dirty hipster with greasy matted hair and skinny jeans tucked into cruddy Converses walking around with their trendy Pabst Blue Ribbon: kick their shins in, stick your foot on their throat, snatch the PBR out of the suspect's hands, chug 3/4s of it and dump the rest on their face. THAT'LL LEARN 'EM GOOD.
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